2.03.2008
20 going on 17


Hello to the numerous of people who read my blog (like 2 out of 4 billion people of the world) I am officially 20 and life still goes on. I am still seeing. I am still breathing. I am still living. I'm beginning to realize things in life that have altered the way I think. To tell you the truth; I need to grow up. Seriously, I need to get my life striaght. I am 20 years old, and I still am a dependent person who lives at home with his parents. Even my parents still see me as a child. I guess I am not ready for the "real world" (or whatever the hell people call it). It just seems like I've been retreating to my teen years for the past two years, and I realized that I need some change in my life. Some of the people I associate with these days seem to hold me back, yet some people I envy because of their maturity. It's not about the number of years you have since the day you were concieved that gives you maturity, it's your inner personality, and I am greatful to call some of those people in my life friends. I'm taking this one day at a time. People are telling me I've been acting weird lately. I'm not. I just need to take some time apart from people, isolate myself and figure things out for a bit without the extra dirstactions.

There is something else that is bothering me for awhile. Sometimes I feel used in a way by other people, which leads me to think what the definiton of a true friend is. It never bothered me before, but lately it's just annoying. I never wanted to be that type of person who cared about every little thing, because I find that annoying in a person. For example, people disliking someone when they have never said a single word to them annoys me. People who think highly on themselves, or think everything revolves around them is irratating. Oh and people who create catty situations and feed off of drama is just fucking stupid. Basically my life is turining into a retarded MTV reality show. I need to stop hanging out with these people, because it's polluting my personality, and I feel like I'm becoming THAT type of person...the person I never wanted to be. These are the people that are holding me back. I just need to stop hanging out with people all together and be a loner again; things were easier that way, and less stressful. I just need to stop caring.

New years resolution: Stop caring


p.s. i don't hate anyone, quit asking!


posted by emmanuel gamao.






3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't let the fact that you're twenty act as a bar above your head for a maturity level that you're supposed to be at. You're plenty mature for your age, just being around others that are younger and act their age makes an older friend feel immature, I know this as well. But don't be hard on yourself, you're not thirty at home with your parents, so it isn't lame yet. Plus you're in school around here, it'd be silly to be living on your own cause' it'd be a pure waste of money. The only lame thing is probably the fact that they don't treat you like an adult, but that isn't your fault either.
I wish I could have warned you because I have a feeling I know a few of the people this entry pertains to. You still hold a place near and dear to my heart, and I don't want you to ever feel like you don't have someone to vent to; so for what it's worth, I'm always willing to listen.

February 3, 2008 at 10:06 AM

 
Blogger EG said...

I will never use you.

February 8, 2008 at 12:49 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i would have your sex all day.

May 13, 2008 at 11:36 PM

 

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